Advice to parents of reluctant readers

I have a confession to make…

I was never a strong reader.

I enjoyed reading and I was ‘good at it’ (whatever that means), but I struggled to find books I enjoyed and often gave up on recommended reading.

My older brother, however, was a voracious reader. So was my best friend. They devoured books like chocolate cake and, although I liked the idea of getting lost in a novel, the disappointment at failing to be meant that I dubbed myself a ‘bad reader.’

I managed to discover my love of books later in my teens, after breaking a few rules and finding my own way into it.

While the benefits of reading are widely known, it’s never been harder to encourage children to read.

The battle against screen time is changing the way we process verbal information and an iPad beats a book every time when it comes to choosing some quiet time.

Does your child simply not enjoy reading? Do they struggle to find the ‘right’ book? Do you worry that their reluctance to read affects their vocabulary, comprehension and reading skills? Do you scour reading lists from school, to no avail?

Finding the Right Book

The question of what your child ‘should’ be reading is possibly the wrong one to ask.

Reading can be a very personal thing and, as such, treat it that way.

Ideally, this is a process of inspiration, rather than obligation.

Recommended reading lists are useful, but the only person better qualified than you to figure out the best books for your child, is your child.

Start by discussing genre and themes.

What most appeals to them? Horror? Comedy? Adventure? Stories about dogs?

Once they understand their own tastes, they are empowered to make choices. Then, dedicate some time (and money) to an afternoon in the most beautiful bookshop you can find. Read dozens of blurbs and let their curiosity narrow down the contenders for purchase.

You might decide on a certain number of books to come home with, so narrow it down to a ‘long list’ and then a ‘short list’ and then decide on the best of the bunch.

Just the process of selecting books like this, almost like the books are in a competition to win your child’s curiosity, will give them agency and instil a bit of a buzz.

When to Push and When to Drop

It’s hard to love doing something we’ve been forced into.

While the importance and benefits of reading should be understood, make it less about impressing mum/dad/teacher and more about personal fulfilment.

Help them to know when it is O.K. to give up on a book that just isn’t keeping their attention.

Perhaps agree on a certain number of chapters to reach, before making a judgement. The ‘right book’ won’t let them put it down.

The idea of a ‘wrong book’ takes the pressure off and encourages them to try another.

So many children (myself included, when I was one) feel guilt and shame about not being avid readers and, even if you love the idea of reading, struggling to get into it can feel like a bit of a failure.

They must not give up too readily, so give a book a chance, but it’s essential to avoid the myth that they ‘just don’t like reading.’

Age-Appropriate Reading

Putting aside whether or not a book’s content is appropriate for your child’s maturity level in terms of themes and sensitivity (that is more personal to each child and your choices as a parent), your child might be frustrated with the books recommended to their particular age bracket.

While its important to maintain a certain reading level, the age recommendations on books can be limiting.

Be flexible.

Reading around the age level is better than not reading at all.

Some children may enjoy reading about animals, when all of the books in their age bracket are about spies and teen romance.

Don’t let them feel ashamed of what they like.

As well as letting them indulge in younger subject matter, there may also be more grown-up books that appeal to their their interests, so help them find some.

Regarding difficulty, let them be comfortable with not understanding every single word.

Seeing words we don’t understand is how we expand vocabulary! Have a dictionary to hand if necessary.

Encourage them to poke their heads up from inside their book and say, “what does this mean?”

However, if it’s reaching 5 or more unknown words per page, they might not be ready for this one…

Reading With Eyes AND Ears

For a child who struggles to extract meaning from writing, it can be just as important for them to hear what is written as it is to see it.

A useful and enjoyable exercise can be to read along with an audiobook. Not to just listen to it, but to allow the actor’s tone, inflection and rhythm to model how punctuation and sentence structures should be read off a page.

Some people feel this isn’t ‘proper’ reading and older children sometimes feel a bit babyish having a read-along story. But audiobooks have never been more popular among adults. Plus, who cares how you get engaged with reading, as long as you get engaged!

This was exactly what I did during my A-level in English Literature. I was struggling to get into The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde and was scanning the lines over and over, without anything sinking in.

I bought an audiobook from Audible.com and let Simon Callow, with his booming Shakespearian voice read it to me, while I read along. It kept me following along without zoning out and settled me into the tone of the text. The Picture of Dorian Gray is now one of my favourite books (and I got an A in my A-level).

A Reading Routine

Making reading a part of an everyday routine is the best way to make it a sustainable habit.

Just like brushing their teeth, it’s just a ritual of the day.

As well as giving them their independent reading time, your child (whatever age) is not too old to have you read to them before bed.

And you are not too old for them to read to you! Make reading a family thing. Get them involved in their younger siblings’ bedtime stories. Or choose a book together and read an agreed amount per day/week, to discuss, as your own family book club.

Despite being disillusioned with reading as a child, I was lucky to have a younger brother, 8 years my junior. I would often read him stories and play all the silly voices, reading with expression and humour. While this was obviously not stretching my reading level, given the content, it was keeping the joy of books bubbling in me, to be rediscovered at a later date…

Always a Treat, Never a Chore

Lastly, try to reward or praise reading instead of punishing lack of reading.

I sometimes see parents use, ‘you can’t play the guitar until you’ve done some reading’ or ‘if you don’t read, no more football.’

Of course, if there is homework to be done, it needs to come first, in place of video games etc. But in terms of reading for leisure, it’s pretty hard to make it leisurely if it is repeatedly used as a punishment or obstacle to the things they love.

Wherever possible, incentivise reading, so that the association with it is that it brings positive things into your child’s life, rather than standing in the way.