How much help should you give your child with their homework?
Homework is a word that can trigger sighs from children but, more often, from parents. One question we are often asked is: How much should I actually be helping with this?
The answer isn’t black and white. Some parents end up doing most of the homework themselves. Others, determined to promote independence, never get involved at all, assuming their child needs to figure it out themselves. Both extremes can miss the mark. Too much help can prevent children from learning through mistakes. Too little can leave them feeling lost or unsupported.
We encourage guided support - being available, interested and encouraging, without taking over. Your child needs to know you're there, but that they are the one doing the learning.
Why do we have homework?
Homework is meant to reinforce learning, help students practice skills and foster independent thinking. It helps teachers see what your child can do independently, what they’ve understood and also where they’re struggling. It builds life skills such as resilience, responsibility, confidence and time management.
When Helping Becomes Hindering
This is tricky part: too much help can backfire. If a child gets used to you always giving the correct answers, they may stop trying, or worse, they might start believing they can’t do it alone. It’s okay if they struggle a bit. In fact, it’s essential. This is often where the learning happens.
Know When to Step In
We are not saying to ignore genuine distress. If your child is overwhelmed, crying or clearly not understanding something after giving it a good try, it’s okay to intervene. Sometimes, a quick explanation can unlock a mental block.
However, if this happens regularly, it might be a sign that the work is genuinely too difficult, or that something else is going on. In that case, please contact their teacher. They need to know if homework is consistently causing problems.
Helping Too Little?
Some parents hold back completely, hoping to foster independence. However, even independent learners need scaffolding.
If you never check in, your child might:
Misunderstand the task and go off in the wrong direction
Struggle silently and feel discouraged
Start thinking homework doesn’t matter (because no one’s watching)
Practical Tips To Help You Strike the Balance:
Resist the urge to rescue - It’s completely natural to want to step in when your child is struggling. However, doing the work for them, even if it is just rewriting a few sentences or ‘fixing’ their mistakes, can send the wrong message. Although it might feel helpful in the moment, over time it can chip away at confidence and problem solving skills. It also makes it more difficult for teachers to know what your child truly understands
Show an interest - You don’t have to sit beside them every time, but showing interest really helps. Glance over their homework diary. Ask them how it’s going and let them know you're there if they get stuck. Provide encouragement and support. Asking questions such as, “What do you think the question is asking?” or “Can you talk me through what you’ve done so far?” shows that you’re still supporting, but you’re not solving.
Know When to Push and When to Step Away - If your child is distracted or giving up too quickly, a gentle nudge can help. If they’re becoming upset or clearly overwhelmed even after trying, it’s okay to step in and talk things through, or stop altogether.
Break It Down - Big tasks can feel intimidating. Help your child break homework into manageable chunks. Smaller goals feel more achievable and give your child a sense of progress.
Create the Right Environment - Setting up a calm, distraction-free workspace can make a big difference. You just need a quiet table, good lighting and a break from screens. Try to keep essentials (pencils, books, paper etc) within easy reach so time isn’t wasted searching for things.
Be the Coach, Not the Player - Think of yourself as a coach, not a teammate. Your job isn't to solve the maths problem or rewrite the English essay. It's to help your child can do those things themselves. It’s fine to clarify instructions or help get things started but then step back and let them work through it.
Final Thought
Helping with homework isn’t about giving answers, it’s about giving support. Be present, be encouraging and help your child learn how to learn. Your role is to help your child grow the confidence to tackle challenges on their own, knowing you’re there when they need you.
Remember:
If they’re stuck, help them think (don’t just give answers)
If they’re managing independently, check in now and then so they know you care
If they’re overwhelmed, support them and let the teacher know if it’s a pattern