How to slow down the child who rushes
Do you have a child who always seems to be in a hurry? Whether it’s finishing homework, racing through piano practice or rushing around the playground, some children seem to function at full speed all the time. While enthusiasm and energy are wonderful traits, rushing can often mean mistakes, missed details or frustration. Often, children rush because they want to get something over with. You might see it when they immediately put their pen down the second they finish the last sum on the page or when they write that final full stop and call out, “Done!” before really checking their work.
As adults, we know that taking pride in our work or giving care to a task helps us feel satisfied afterwards. Children are still learning that. By helping them slow down in the right moments, we’re not just improving handwriting or homework, we’re teaching them to notice their own achievements, feel proud of their efforts and experience the confidence that comes from doing things well.
Slowing down and developing a more thoughtful pace can be taught.
1. Why?
It is important to work out why your child might be rushing. This could be excitement, boredom or anxiety. It could be that they want to move on to something more enjoyable or that they’re worried about getting something wrong. It could simply be habit. Identifying the reason and understanding this will allow you to respond in a way that really helps them.
· Talk about it together – let them know that you noticed they tried to finish quickly and discuss it
· Be curious, not critical
· Reassure them, particularly if anxiety is behind the rushing. Explain that it is okay to take your time, that it doesn’t matter if it isn’t perfect and there are no penalties for taking your time. Talk about feeling proud of your work rather than rushing to finish it.
2. Model Slowing Down
Children take their cues from the adults around them and, often, we will find ourselves rushing. If you find yourself saying, “Quickly!” or “Hurry up!” or rushing through routines, they’ll see that this is just part of life. When you can, show them what it looks like to pause, slow down and take your time. With younger children, you could even narrate your actions: “I’m going to go slowly with this so I don’t spill it.” Allow yourselves extra time for daily routines. Children often rush because we are rushing them.
3. Use Timers (in reverse)
For children who rush to finish quickly, try using a timer in reverse – to count up the time. Instead of setting a timer to ‘get it done by’, use a stopwatch clock to show how long they should be spending on an activity. This could be as simple as, “Let’s take three minutes to brush our teeth properly and slowly.” This helps make time more tangible and allows your child to build patience.
4. Break Tasks Into Steps
We say this a lot but big tasks can feel overwhelming. Children, therefore, rush to get them over with. Breaking tasks into small, manageable steps with genuine (not ‘plastic’) praise at each stage can encourage care and focus. Rather than telling your child to tidy their room, it can be, “First, pick up all the lego. Great, now let’s do the books.”
5. Create ‘Slow Challenges’
Make slowing down into a fun game or challenge. Our ‘Slow Writing’ works brilliantly for this, slowing the pace of story writing and making every sentence count. Or, if your child’s handwriting is rushed and untidy, challenge them to write just one sentence, but making it the neatest they possibly can. Slowing down takes the pressure off while teaching the skill you want to build.
6. Celebrate Effort Over Speed
When you can, focus on the process, not just the result. Learning that quality matters more than being first or fastest is a skill that takes time. Children need to be shown that how they do something matters more than how quickly they finish it. When we only celebrate the end result, children believe that faster is better. They need to be taught to value the effort they’ve put in: the careful thinking, the neat presentation, the thoughtful answers, the moments where they paused to check their work, the changes they have made. This is what will build genuine pride in what they’ve achieved.
· Use specific praise/feedback
· Notice the little things
· Comment on persistence - even if something’s tricky or takes longer, emphasise that they kept going and didn’t rush to be ‘done’
It is only when children connect that ‘taking my time = doing a job I can be proud of’, that they start to develop their inner motivation to slow down. The shift is that they do it not just because we’ve told them to, but because they want to.
Final Thought
Helping a child slow down is about showing them that care and attention bring their own rewards. It isn’t about taking away their energy or enthusiasm. By supporting them to notice their efforts, break tasks into manageable steps and feel a sense of pride in doing things well, we’re giving them skills they’ll use beyond childhood. Slowing down takes practice and, over time, they’ll find that balance between getting things done and doing them well.